A Cure for Depression

Take that air!

If you’re a dude and you’re depressed I’ve got a cure for you and it does not involve drowning your sorrows in an alcoholic haze! Read on.

Step 1: Join the army to escape life’s pressures. Only then can one truly appreciate the value of life. Then, go on to witness some horrific things on the battlefield causing you to dive further into depression caused by the atrocities you’ve committed on said battlefield. This will of course lead to your inevitable capture by the local indigenous people your army has been fighting.

I know, I know, all this sounds rough, but it gets better.

Step 2: Once a P.O.W. at the hands of these indigenous people, through osmosis, learn their culture and their way of life…all this of course allows you to finally discover true inner peace. Your captors will despise you at first because they do not trust you, but with time they will come to know you and learn to accept you as one of them. Usually the hottest girl in the village trusts you first, then the children, followed by the rest of the town. At the very same time, you and the hottest girl in town will end up falling in love. BONUS SCORE! After-all, the tender love a woman provides is a great cure for depression too.

There is however always one dickhead in town that is always against you. He will never trust you and he will smack talk every chance he gets. This guy is a total player hater because you’re getting it on with the hottest girl in town who he has a crush on since he was 5. Tough bones.

Step 3: Become a part of their community and fight on their side against your former army. The inevitable final battle will come. Although the other side has more advanced weaponry and your indigenous side is outmatched both in numbers and military training, you have the knowledge of the land and you can use it to your advantage. Although the odds are against your ‘new side’ and you probably will die or end up being the only survivor of this whole final battle ordeal, you at the very least will feel whole again and are no longer depressed (You found inner peace in step 2 already remember?). Plus you scored with the town’s hottest girl, what more do you want? Boom chicka bow wow!

Temper Trap – Down River. Give it a listen.