Torment

“Torment” was a critically panned Spider-Man story arc from the early 90s written and drawn by comic book artist Todd McFarlane.

Brief summary of plot:

Blood washes the streets of the Big Apple. Torment plunges Spider-Man into the darkness within us all as he hunts the Lizard through the streets and sewers of New York City, trying to put an end to the bloodthirsty, homicidal rampage left in his wake. But what is driving the Lizard? Is it an answer that Spider-Man is prepared to face? Or will it be so shocking that it will make even the most courageous hero question his sanity?

Needless to say, Spidey had it rough. The image above is the final page of issue five, the conclusion of the story arc. After defeating the villain, Spider-man barely functioning, mentally and physically, manages to struggle and find his way home to his wife. This is his for comfort and solace. A place where he can recuperate and rest from physical and mental exhaustion with the women he loves. A place where he feels safe.

In times of disappointment, depression, or physical and mental fatigue, I often think of this comic panel. Spider-man was beaten, poisoned and traumatized over the course of five issues. In the end, he had to defeat his own friend who was being controlled by the super villain in order to stop her. That stuff just messes you up mentally. No, I can’t relate. I’ve never been poisoned or beaten up my friend to stop a super villain.

In any case, the images and the dialogue from this panel pops up in my mind whenever I feel downtroddened. When the world has just delivered me the final knock out blow, I think of this panel and wonder where is my ‘home’. I wonder where I can find my comfort and solace.

My mind can be my greatest friend. It is the source of my creativity and intellect but it is also often the source of my depression. I am writing this blog not as a cry for help because I know who reads this because I am not about that. Rather, I wanted to share the image I often think of when I struggle with negative thoughts and a heavy heart.

Yes, when I’m when feeling blue, I think of a comic book image. If this doesn’t prove that I am the biggest nerd in the world I don’t know what does.